Monday, February 28, 2011

Hernandez at the helm as Devils travel to Stamford Bridge

Certain recurring narratives were reinforced when Manchester United beat Wigan 4-0 away on Saturday.

Whether or not their import will be heeded by their manager going forward remains to be seen.

United gaffer Alex Ferguson started Javier Hernandez up top with Wayne Rooney for the first time this season away at the JJB.

To be fair, Rooney dropped too deep too often so the formation often seemed a 4-5-1. His willingness to do so can be either that or desperation, the latter being more persuasive after he muay-thai elbowed James McCarthy for no reason in the first half.

Referee Mark Clattenburg wanted too much to be one of the guys and let Rooney off with only a manhug.
Hernandez meanwhile was busy doing the things that'll see him replace Rooney some day sooner than anyone would have expected.

At the very least the Mexican tailors his natural attributes to his game, using his speed to embody a dumbfire missile heading straight at the opposing goal whenever a midfielder with the ball looks up at him.

Being caught offside isn't nearly as lamentable for the Mexican as it is for another United striker, Dimitar Berbatov, who has zero pace but gets caught offsides more than virtually any other player in the Premier League.

Anyways, gotta keep this brief. United play against Chelsea in two days so this'll get buried under a bunch of other crap.

Therefore I'll skip how influential Scholes was, that Patrice Evra had his best game in awhile, or how underrated Vidic still is. Use your imagination I guess.

Hernandez opened the scoring for the Red Devils by again making the run both Berbatov and Rooney would be uninclined to. It's really simple and has been written within these margins before: run forward fast. The other two are much slower and tend to suspend runs into the box to pull off and get a cut-back.

Chicharito doesn't eff around, then he smiles about it. He finished Nani's cross to put United ahead. As the half winded down—after some outstanding saves by van der Sar that, in hindsight, obviously inspired Ben Foster—the Mexican pilfered again.

The second strike was one of the ilk United fans are quickly getting used to. The Poncharello lookalike nodded down his goalie's punt to Rooney who one-timed the reciprocal. The former Guadalajara striker sprinted through, took a touch, and finished ever-cooly. Then he smiled. Another thing Rooney doesn't do, although he does spit more.

United led 2-0. The game was over. The final score read 4-0. It didn't matter.

I would have sex with Javier Hernandez if only to brag to  women about it and then bed them consequently. I truly believe he will replace Rooney as United's talisman once the grumpy scouser is inevitably sold for an exorbitant sum to a club that still buys his hype.

Rooney himself hasn't had two good games on the trot, and I've been increasingly lenient with the definition of "good". Having scored and picked up two assists, despite playing poorly from open play elsewise, his streak once again stands at one.

If he spent a little more time in training working on fundamentals still missing from his limited repertoire, instead of being grumpy, pugnacious, greedy, and lecherous, then I'd not have to use any of those words to describe him, at least. At most he'd become something of the footballer he was capable of.

Employing him in Scholes' role instead of continuing to shoe-horn him as an out-and-out striker he is not is the only scenario I can envision really unshackling Rooney's remaining and decreasing potential.

Anyways: United have a rather big game ahead of them at Stamford Bridge on Tuesday.

It's too bad but Hernandez is unlikely to start in it, despite coming off early for Gibson at the DW Stadium. Ferguson is likely to start a lamentable 4-5-1 with a lamentable Rooney lamentably up top alone and lamenting.

It might not be the wrong decision since he'll be playing for the draw, anyway. You can always tell when Fergie is playing for a draw because he doesn't start Scholes.

But as United's long run-out to the season continues, Hernandez's name should appear on more and more teamsheets or, at least, near the end of match reports.

His preclusion from the Marseille first leg was an egregious oversight from a passive manager. Ferguson should have been more audacious in nicking an away goal; Hernandez' specialty.

Man Red will need all three of their strikers at different points throughout the season's final third.

So far only two of them have produced consistently. Berbatov leads the top flight in scoring. Chicharito has nine goals in 18 appearances in his first season.

Who'd I forget?

I'm on twitter, for what it's worth.

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